January 15, 2018
San Clemente, California
Aaron goes to the local grocery store and sees a beautiful woman in the produce aisle.
There is always a beautiful woman in produce aisle.
Before he can strike up a conversation about avocados, boyfriend rushes in from left field to mark his territory (an annoyingly frequent occurrence at Aaron’s local Ralph’s).
Aaron has moved to a Couple’s Only town.
Aaron walks away vexed, feeling sorry for himself, dreaming of Spain in the frozen food section.
Fifteen minutes later, as Aaron checks out, previously mentioned boyfriend walks to the counter, visibly frustrated. Asks clerk, “Dude, do you know where the damn vegan butter is?” looking sideways as his girlfriend nips at his heels, barking about ‘non-dairy almond cheese.’
Aaron pays for his steak at the counter.
Aaron goes home.
Aaron eats his steak and watches Vikings